There is a vast difference between being "happy" and finding a genuine inner peace

<p><div id="abw" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: auto; text-decoration: inherit; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffffff; border-top-width: initial; border-top-style: none; border-top-color: initial; position: relative; text-align: left; width: 984px; padding: 0px;"><div id="abm" class="clear" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 15px; text-decoration: inherit; zoom: 1; position: relative; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.226563) 0px 20px 20px; z-index: 25; margin: 0px;"><div id="abc" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: -342px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-decoration: inherit; position: relative; width: 954px; padding: 0px;"><div id="articlebody" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin-top: 1.5em; margin-right: 357px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-left: 0px; text-decoration: inherit; position: static; padding: 0px;">There is a vast difference between being "happy" and finding a genuine inner peace that "passes all understanding" to quote the book. Happiness is often confused for inner peace. The two are not the same. One can be having a miserable experience and still be at the core "at peace." You can be suffering through the loss of a loved one, career, belief or be in a health crisis an still have an inner peace. When you meet these unusual people, you remember them. The bottom line is tied directly to how one graciously accepts what is as opposed to demanding life be some other way for happiness to be. Happiness is that shallow and temporary fix one gets from stuff, position and comfort, while peace is that deep ability to not define the real self by such elusive qualities. Inner peace is the ability to say "is that so" when life does what it does and defeat the drama queen in all of us with presence.<h3 style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; margin-top: 1.5em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-left: 0px; text-decoration: inherit; color: inherit; padding: 0px;">Is it Good, or is it Bad?</h3>I have a saying "It’s not good, it’s not bad. It just is." on the wall in my workspace and many clients comment on it. They like it even thought they can’t quite say why they like it. I think the reason is that down deep, we all know that one can’t judge how something works out no matter how it seems at the moment.<br /><br />A client knocked it off the wall accidentally and cracked the glass. She brought it out to me in tears and said she was so very sorry. I said read it.<br /><br />I told her she made it even more perfect a truth than before by breaking the glass. I thanked her for how good the crack looked going all the way through the saying. She smiled and said "I get it but Dennis, you ain’t right." I hung it back up and now clients think the crack was deliberate for effect.<br /><br />Who’s to say what is good or bad? So often what seems so good turns out to make a miserable experience. What seems so bad turns into the greatest teacher and opportunity. Doors open to better ways of being or an opportunity that never would have come any other way. Bad stomach cramps and a morning in the bathroom after an anniversary dinner the night before, gone bad, did, in fact, keep one business man from making it into work exactly where the first plane hit on 9/11. For him what’s bad certainly was good.<br /><br />A "bad" experience can force one to let go of illusions, falsehoods and wrong concepts that will not serve one’s life experience. A "bad" experience can cause one to become more real, more humble, more compassionate and to possess an understanding. A bad experience, when viewed from the ego which is merely the mind’s false sense of the self can keep one frozen in time, bitter, angry and consumed with changing the unchangeable past. The ego is that unconscious and running mind that views itself as unique and separate from everything and everyone else. The ego views everyone and everything as a potential threat to itself and can only preserve itself with control, power, greed and attack. Ego runs and ruins organizations and sends governments off to commit genocide on those perceived as "them." All conflict is a battle of egos, and the need to be right. Give up the need to be right and you will have arrived at a state few attain to. <br /><br />Eckhart Tolle in <em>The Power of Now</em> sums it up nicely:<br /><br /><sub style="vertical-align: baseline; position: relative; bottom: -0.5em;">When two or more egos come together, drama of some kind or another ensues. But even if you live totally alone, you still create your own drama. When you feel sorry for yourself, that’s drama. When you feel guilty or anxious , that’s drama. When you let the past or future obscure the present, you are creating the stuff of which drama is made. Whenever you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.<br /></sub></div></div></div></div></p>

There is a vast difference between being "happy" and finding a genuine inner peace

There is a vast difference between being "happy" and finding a genuine inner peace that "passes all understanding" to qu...

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Consciousness is Effortless

<p> </p><blockquote>"You find God the moment you realize that you don't need to seek God."</blockquote>

Consciousness is Effortless

  "You find God the moment you realize that you don't need to seek God."

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The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!

<p><a href="http://4thsteps.blogspot.com/2011/11/for-most-normal-folks-drinking-means.html">A VISION FOR YOU | AA EXPLORER:VISION FOR YOU</a></p><blockquote>The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!</blockquote>

The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!

A VISION FOR YOU | AA EXPLORER:VISION FOR YOU The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!

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Fellowship of The Spirit

<p><a href="http://4thsteps.blogspot.com/2011/11/for-most-normal-folks-drinking-means.html">A VISION FOR YOU | AA EXPLORER:VISION FOR YOU</a></p><blockquote>Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find, and join us. We shall be with you, in the Fellowship of The Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.</blockquote>

Fellowship of The Spirit

A VISION FOR YOU | AA EXPLORER:VISION FOR YOU Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find, and join us. We shall be w...

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King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm

<div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nQGGGrnkJNA/Swcavh4zxBI/AAAAAAAAGew/GUylUBgF8Qw/s1600/alcohol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nQGGGrnkJNA/Swcavh4zxBI/AAAAAAAAGew/GUylUBgF8Qw/s200/alcohol.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> <br /> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.</span><div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/338528497_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="background-image: none; 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overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Truth of ourselves</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340768502_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The CHILD WITHIN thats is an interior voice accessing the exterior and is the only true voice of the child.The authentic intuition voice that lovingly guides your life.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; 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King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm

King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming black...

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A VISION FOR YOU

<br /> <dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <div style="font-size: medium;"> <br /></div> <div style="font-size: medium;"> <br /></div> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship, and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom, and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends, and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt - and one more failure.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who see this page will understand!<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-alcoholics, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">We have shown you how we got out from under. You say: "Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?"<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Yes, there is a substitute, and it is vastly more than that. It is a Fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom, and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find The Fellowship, and so will you.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">"How is that to come about?" you say. "Where am I to find these people?"<br /> You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. These are to be your companions. High and low, rich and poor, these are future Fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself, that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 71.</div> useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen again. Should you wish them above all else, and should you be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, following its directions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. They will approach still other sick ones and so the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">In the chapter "Working With Others" you gathered an idea of how to approach and aid others to health. Suppose now that through you several families have adopted your way of life. You will want to know more of how to proceed from that point. Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the Fellowship among us. Here is a brief account:<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Nearly four years ago, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. From the business standpoint, his trip came off badly. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially, which, at the time, seemed vitally important. But his venture wound up in a law suit and bogged down completely. The proceeding was shot through with much hard feeling and controversy.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. Still physically weak, and sober but a few months, he saw that his predicament was dangerous. He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom?<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid. At one end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches. Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar. He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he would find companionship and release. Unless he took some drinks, he might not have the courage to scrape an acquaintance, and would have a lonely week-end.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Of course, he couldn't drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? Then after all, had he not been sober six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks - no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was the old, insidious insanity - that first drink. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">But what about his responsibilities - his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah - yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned, and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Little could he foresee what that simple decision was to mean. How could any one guess that life and happiness for many was to depend on whether one depressed man entered a phone booth or a bar? His call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town, who, though formerly able and respected, was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair. It was the usual situation: home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears, and reputation damaged. He had a desperate desire to stop, but saw no way out; for he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape. Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it means to be alcoholic.<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 72.</div> <br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">When our friend told his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long. A spiritual experience, he conceded, was absolutely necessary, but the price seemed high upon the basis suggested. He told how he lived in constant worry about creditors and others who might find out about his alcoholism. He had, of course, the familiar alcoholic obsession that few knew of his drinking. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, so bringing still more suffering to his family, by foolishly admitting his plight to his creditors and those from whom he made his livelihood? He would do anything, he said, but that.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home. Some time later, and just as he thought he was getting control of his liquor situation, he went on a roaring bender. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. He saw that he would have to face his problems squarely, that God might give him mastery.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been. He found himself surprisingly well received, and learned that many knew of his drinking. Stepping into his car, he made the rounds of people he had hurt. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">At midnight he came home exhausted, but very happy. He has not had a drink since. As we shall see, he now means a great deal to his community, and the major liabilities of thirty years of hard drinking have been repaired in less than four.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">But life was not easy for the two friends. Plenty of difficulties presented themselves. Both saw that they must keep spiritually active. One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">She replied, "Yes, we've got a corker. He's just beaten up a couple of nurses. Goes off his head completely when drinking. But he's a grand chap when sober though he's been in here six times in the last four months. Understand he was once a well-known lawyer in town, but just now we've got him strapped down tight."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Here was a prospect all right, but, by the description, none too promising. The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. But one of the friends said, "Put him in a private room. We'll be down."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Two days later, a future Fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. "Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Said one of the visitors, "We're giving you a treatment for alcoholism." Hopelessness was written large on the man's face as he replied: "Oh, but that's no use. Nothing would fix me. I'm a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. I'm afraid to go out the door. I can't understand it."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences. Over and over, he would say: "That's me. That's me. I drink like that."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">"Yes, that's me, " said the sick man, "the very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don't see what good it'll do. You fellows are somebody. I<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 73.</div> was once, but I'm a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can't stop." At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow Anonymous: "Damn little to laugh about that I can see."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out.<br /> He interrupted: "I used to be strong for the church, but that won't fix it. I've prayed to God on hangover mornings and sworn that I'd never touch another drop, but by nine o'clock I'd be boiled as an owl."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Next day found the prospect more receptive. He had been thinking it over. "Maybe you're right, " he said. "God ought to be able to do anything." Then he added, "He sure didn't do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone."<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, but she thought she saw something different about her husband already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting men's gathering places of all sorts, often staying up all night. He lost the race by only a narrow margin. But he had found God - and in finding God had found himself.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">That was in June, 1935. He never drank again. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. He has helped other men recover, and is a power in the church from which he was long absent.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town, who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk. After several failures to find others, a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. He proved to be a devil-may-care young fellow whose parents could not make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not. They were deeply religious people, much shocked by their son's refusal to have anything to do with the church. He suffered horribly from his sprees, but it seemed as if nothing could be done for him. He consented, however, to go to the hospital, where he occupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">He had three visitors. After a bit, he said: "The way you fellows put this spiritual stuff makes sense. I'm ready to do business. I guess the old folks were right after all." So one more was added to the Fellowship.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">All this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident remained in that town. He was there three months. He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer, and the devil-may-care chap. These men had found something brand new in life. Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. They shared their homes, their slender resources, and gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow-sufferers. They were willing, by day or night, to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterward. They grew in numbers. They experienced a few distressing failures, but in those cases, they made an effort to bring the man's family into a new way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more. Seeing much of each other, scarce an evening passed that someone's home did not shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy in their release, and constantly thinking<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 74.</div> how they might present their discovery to some newcomer. In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. Aside from fellowship and sociability, the prime object was to provide a time and place where new people might bring their problems.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Outsiders became interested. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. This couple has since become so fascinated that they have dedicated their home to the work. Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew their problem, to hear from the lips of men like their husbands what had happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom. Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer. He succumbed to that gay crowd inside, who laughed at their misfortune and understood him. Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely, when, later, in an upper room of this house, he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own. The expression on the faces of the women, that indefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating and electric atmosphere of the place, conspired to let him know that here was haven at last.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">The very practical approach to his problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding which these people had were irresistible. He and his wife would leave elated by the thought of what they could now do for some stricken acquaintance and his family. They knew they had a host of new friends; it seemed they had known these strangers always. They had seen miracles, and one was to come to them. They had visioned The Great Reality - their loving and All Powerful Creator.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule. Alcoholics are being attracted from far and near. From surrounding towns, families drive long distances to be present. A community thirty miles away has fifteen Fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Being a large place, we think that some day its Fellowship will number many hundreds.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending meetings and visiting hospitals. Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified - these are everyday occurrences. No one is too discredited. nor has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially - if he means business. Social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies - these are laughed out of countenance. Being wrecked in the same vessel, being restored and united under one God, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others, the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to them. How could they?<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Under only slightly different conditions, the same thing is taking place in several eastern cities. In one of these there is a well-known hospital for the treatment of alcoholic and drug addiction. Four years ago one of our number was a patient there. Many of us have felt, for the first time, the Presence and Power of God within its walls. We are greatly indebted to the doctor in attendance there, for he, although it might prejudice his own work, has told us his belief in our work.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients. Understanding our work, he can do this with an eye to selecting those who are willing and able to recover on a spiritual basis. Many of us, former patients, go there to help.<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 75.</div> <br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Then, in this eastern city there are informal meetings such as we have described to you, where you may see thirty or forty, there are the same fast friendships, there is the same helpfulness to one another as you find among our western friends. There is a good bit of travel between East and West and we foresee a great increase in this helpful interchange.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. To some extent this is already true. Some of us are salesmen and go about. Little clusters of twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities, through contact with our two larger centers. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Thus we grow. And so can you, though you be but one man with this book in your hand. We believe and hope it contains all you will need to begin.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">We know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself: "I'm jittery and alone. I couldn't do that." But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power so much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">We know a former alcoholic who was living alone in a large community. He had lived there but a few weeks when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country. This was only a few days ago at this writing. The authorities were much concerned. He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who has undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community. The doctor proved to be able and exceedingly anxious to adopt any workable method of handling the situation. Agreeing with many competent and informed physicians, he said he could do little or nothing for the average alcoholic. So, he inquired, what did our friend have on-the ball?<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Our friend proceeded to tell him. And with such good effect that the doctor agreed to a test among his patients and certain other alcoholics from a clinic which he attends. Arrangements were also made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore. Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become Fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. When a few men in this city have found themselves, and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again, there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover - if he can and will.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book." We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the Fellowship you crave. *<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to him and<br /> <br /> <hr /> <div> Page 76.</div> and your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find, and join us. We shall be with you, in the Fellowship of The Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.<br /> </dd><dd style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">May God bless you and keep you - until then.</dd>

A VISION FOR YOU

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship, and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom, and ...

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Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f4fdOUgpkfQ/TzUKbtoDT7I/AAAAAAAAKe4/CpnH7lNNFu0/s1600/river.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f4fdOUgpkfQ/TzUKbtoDT7I/AAAAAAAAKe4/CpnH7lNNFu0/s320/river.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?</span>

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now,...

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Instead of asking “what do I want from life?,

<p> </p><blockquote>Instead of asking “what do I want from life?,” a more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?”</blockquote>

Instead of asking “what do I want from life?,

  Instead of asking “what do I want from life?,” a more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?”

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To end the misery that has afflicted the human condition for thousands of years

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <blockquote> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyYHC5hH8NE/VSo6v-iUFSI/AAAAAAAARao/pIAClYHMPS4/s1600/1-11050822_597090743761003_8908973908707265896_n-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyYHC5hH8NE/VSo6v-iUFSI/AAAAAAAARao/pIAClYHMPS4/s200/1-11050822_597090743761003_8908973908707265896_n-001.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br />To end the misery that has afflicted the human condition for thousands of years, you have to start with yourself and take responsibility for you inner state at any given moment. That means now.<br /></span>Related articles</blockquote> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/338528497_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We think it's great that THE STAGES offer alternative activities for people coming off the isolation of trauma</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-truth-of-ourselves.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339080354_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-truth-of-ourselves.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Truth of ourselves</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340768502_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The CHILD WITHIN thats is an interior voice accessing the exterior and is the only true voice of the child.The authentic intuition voice that lovingly guides your life.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/when-we-drop-our-self-centred.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197483_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/when-we-drop-our-self-centred.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">When we drop our self-centred motivations and allow all things to come toward us to carry out practice, that is realisation.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197490_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-we-have-find-child-within-ourselves.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340330572_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-we-have-find-child-within-ourselves.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">When we have find the child within ourselves</a></li> </ul> </div> </div>

To end the misery that has afflicted the human condition for thousands of years

To end the misery that has afflicted the human condition for thousands of years, you have to start with yourself and take responsibilit...

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Consciousness is Effortless

<p> </p><p>The higher consciousness we seek is not something we seek or grasp. There is an effortlessness to it. We cease to resist. We relax into our body and as we do, our awareness becomes less dull and more alive. The consciousness of stillness and presence is more alert than thinking, yet it is not a strain. It is not something we do. It is something we are. When we stop doing, we are it. There is no trying, only presence.</p>

Consciousness is Effortless

  The higher consciousness we seek is not something we seek or grasp. There is an effortlessness to it. We cease to resist. We relax into ou...

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My sense of identity broke down and was replaced by something that is very hard to put into words

<p> </p><blockquote>Suddenly I stepped back from myself, and it seemed to be two of me--- The "I", and this "self" that I cannot live with. Am I one or am I two? And that triggered me like a koan. It happened to me spontaneously. I looked at that sentence---"I can't live with myself". I had no intellectual answer. Who am I? Who is this self that I cannot live with? The answer came on a deeper level. I realized who I was. When I'm speaking about it now, it becomes intellectualized because I'm using words, but that realization was beyond words. What "I" as consciousness had identified with was a very heavy mental and emotional form consisting of thought and accompanied by an energy field. At that moment the identification with that mind structure was withdrawn. It collapsed, and what remained was a spacious, peaceful consciousness. The identification was broken, and because of that, the mental/emotional structure---the psuedo self collapsed. My sense of identity broke down and was replaced by something that is very hard to put into words. Awareness. Consciousness. The words only came a few years later. I couldn't even talk about it. I had been anxious and depressed for years and suddenly I was deeply at peace.</blockquote>

My sense of identity broke down and was replaced by something that is very hard to put into words

  Suddenly I stepped back from myself, and it seemed to be two of me--- The "I", and this "self" that I cannot live with...

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I can't live with myself any longer

<p> </p><blockquote>I was unhappy, depressed and anxious. I was not trying to become enlightened or anything like that. I was looking for some kind of answer to the dilemma of life, but I had been looking to the intellect for the answer; philosophy, religion and intellectual inspiration. The more I was looking on that level, the more unhappy I became. I reached a point where the phrase came into my head---and this is in the book "The Power Of Now"---"I can't live with myself any longer." That part of my self---that entity became so heavy and painful. Suddenly I stepped back from myself, and it seemed to be two of me--- The "I", and this "self" that I cannot live with. Am I one or am I two? And that triggered me like a koan. It happened to me spontaneously. I looked at that sentence---"I can't live with myself". I had no intellectual answer. Who am I? Who is this self that I cannot live with? The answer came on a deeper level. I realized who I was. When I'm speaking about it now, it becomes intellectualized because I'm using words, but that realization was beyond words. What "I" as consciousness had identified with was a very heavy mental and emotional form consisting of thought and accompanied by an energy field. At that moment the identification with that mind structure was withdrawn. It collapsed, and what remained was a spacious, peaceful consciousness. The identification was broken, and because of that, the mental/emotional structure---the psuedo self collapsed. My sense of identity broke down and was replaced by something that is very hard to put into words. Awareness. Consciousness. The words only came a few years later. I couldn't even talk about it. I had been anxious and depressed for years and suddenly I was deeply at peace.</blockquote>

I can't live with myself any longer

  I was unhappy, depressed and anxious. I was not trying to become enlightened or anything like that. I was looking for some kind of answer ...

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There are two steps to becoming more happy.

<p> </p><table style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; background-color: #fff9bb; width: 839px;" border="0" cellspacing="20" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td colspan="2" width="621" valign="top"><h2><span style="color: #993300; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Georgia, Times; font-size: large;">A Secret to Happiness<br /></span></h2><p style="font-family: Arial, Geneva, Helvetica; font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Many people who choose to seek the spiritual path do so because they are, quite frankly, miserable. They have lived a life that lacks meaning, feels empty, is filled with reactivity, or perhaps is emotionally excruciating. Whether mild or severe, pain itself is the great motivator when it comes to choosing to grow psychologically and spiritually. And it can be said that this is one benefit that pain and suffering offer to human beings.<br /><br />Emotional pain and psychological suffering often are felt as depression or unhappiness. It is human nature to desire happiness and a life that feels full, satisfying and alive. When there is a gap between that desire and the reality of our life, we may feel keenly interested in finding out what will bring us happiness.<br /><br /><strong>There are two steps to becoming more happy.</strong><br /><br />First, we must understand why we are unhappy. In a nutshell, we are unhappy because we are trapped in the small, limited confines of our ego personality – identified with a false self that is not who we really are. The ego is endlessly preoccupied with past and future, which are also false realities in the sense that neither are ever happening NOW. The less we are experiencing ourselves and life in the present moment, which is where reality exists, the more unreal and false our life is and the less happy we will be. Understanding this will begin to help liberate you from ego and its trappings and live increasingly in the aliveness of present moment.<br /><br />The second approach to becoming more happy is contained in a little secret that is very simple and very potent. The great Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti expressed this secret in a lecture he gave near the end of his life. He said to his audience, "Do you want to know my secret?… My secret is that I don't mind what happens."<br /><br /><em>I don't mind what happens.</em> Another way of saying this is<br /></span></p><blockquote><p style="font-family: Arial, Geneva, Helvetica; font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">"I accept the present moment as it is."<br /><br />"The present moment is my friend, not my enemy."<br /><br />"I am in alignment with what is, as it is, in this moment."<br /><br />"Whatever is happening in this moment is OK, neither good nor bad. It just is."<br /><br /></span></p></blockquote><p style="font-family: Arial, Geneva, Helvetica; font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The secret to happiness is letting go of judgment and resistance to the way things are. When we accept and align with what is, we are not resigning ourselves to a fate we may or may not like. We are empowering ourselves with peace, tranquility and a sense of clarity that will allow us to make wise, non-reactive choices about our conditions.<br /><br />When we befriend the present moment with acceptance and non-resistance, we will feel more peaceful and be less torn by what we like and don't like. To be more happy, make friends with what is.<br /><br />Here is a question to ask yourself regularly through your day:<br /></span></p><blockquote><p style="font-family: Arial, Geneva, Helvetica; font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Am I making the present moment my friend or my enemy?"</span></p></blockquote></td></tr></tbody></table>

There are two steps to becoming more happy.

  A Secret to Happiness Many people who choose to seek the spiritual path do so because they are, quite frankly, miserable. They have lived ...

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The addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, etc. is nothing compared to the addiction we humans have to thinking.

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <blockquote> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8oV4q0yvM50/VTivZ7Zc3tI/AAAAAAAASJ8/R1VC9mYDRgk/s1600/1-1-The%2BTen%2BStages234-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8oV4q0yvM50/VTivZ7Zc3tI/AAAAAAAASJ8/R1VC9mYDRgk/s200/1-1-The%2BTen%2BStages234-007.jpg" width="129" /></a></div> The addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, etc. is nothing compared to the addiction we humans have to thinking. Sitting quietly in silence is so foreign to most of us that the mind quickly starts thinking of its "problems" simply because it feels more "natural." We say we want peace, but because of our conditioning many of us actually feel more comfortable worrying. Worrying about what? Anything, the mind is not picky. -Michael Jeffreys</blockquote> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/338528497_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-think-its-great-that-stages-offer.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We think it's great that THE STAGES offer alternative activities for people coming off the isolation of trauma</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-truth-of-ourselves.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339080354_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-truth-of-ourselves.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Truth of ourselves</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/when-we-drop-our-self-centred.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197483_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/when-we-drop-our-self-centred.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">When we drop our self-centred motivations and allow all things to come toward us to carry out practice, that is realisation.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197490_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340768502_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-child-within-thats-is-interior.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The CHILD WITHIN thats is an interior voice accessing the exterior and is the only true voice of the child.The authentic intuition voice that lovingly guides your life.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-we-have-find-child-within-ourselves.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340330572_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-we-have-find-child-within-ourselves.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">When we have find the child within ourselves</a></li> </ul> </div> </div>

The addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, etc. is nothing compared to the addiction we humans have to thinking.

The addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, etc. is nothing compared to the addiction we humans have to thinking. Sitting quietly in silence ...

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Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

<blockquote><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" height="320" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-A_D7BjU09JE/TsO8RuS0t7I/AAAAAAAAJ_M/ImXK__cXTRU/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="float: left;" width="232" />Take 5 seconds just to be quiet. Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinking, everything that disappears… that’s what’s not real. For most people, that’s about 99% of their whole experience of life… their whole world.</div></blockquote>

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet. Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinkin...

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Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

<blockquote><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" height="232" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-_NKVe93ufjo/TsO7cvE6X9I/AAAAAAAAJ_E/TENPO7RLlPg/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="float: left;" width="320" />Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinking, everything that disappears… that’s what’s not real. For most people, that’s about 99% of their whole experience of life… their whole world.</div></blockquote>

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinking, everything that disappears… th...

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If Life has no interest in the past, why should you?

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WkhmRxxakp8/VQq2BmySXcI/AAAAAAAAQW4/bUULqfFb8VU/s1600/1-THE%2BSTAGES.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WkhmRxxakp8/VQq2BmySXcI/AAAAAAAAQW4/bUULqfFb8VU/s1600/1-THE%2BSTAGES.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <blockquote> If Life has no interest in the past, why should you? –Michael Jeffreys</blockquote>

If Life has no interest in the past, why should you?

If Life has no interest in the past, why should you? –Michael Jeffreys

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It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy--everything that we know of is changing

<p> </p><blockquote>It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy--everything that we know of is changing, either quickly or slowly. Inward and outward, big or small, there is only this shift and flux. If this is fully acknowledged, it may be realized that this is all that actually exists. No object or "thing" is ever truly formed anywhere. Nothing is ever established or defined. No thing ever comes to stay, to exist, to "be."</blockquote>

It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy--everything that we know of is changing

  It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a gala...

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DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego

<p>DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego, so that you are no longer involuntarily pulled out of Presence. teaches that the fully awakened state of consciousness is available now. It is not something that occurs in the future. It is already here, waiting to be revealed. As you awaken into the present moment, your thoughts will stop, your mind will fall silent, and you will awaken to an inner silence and peace that is beyond understanding. You will begin to encounter what the mystics and Masters have been speaking of for centuries.</p>

DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego

DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego, so that you are no longer involun...

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The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K4psiQfxQGQ/VQrUzPRG4eI/AAAAAAAAQYc/9dmBc57voUc/s1600/581157_163541010436616_1839552456_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K4psiQfxQGQ/VQrUzPRG4eI/AAAAAAAAQYc/9dmBc57voUc/s1600/581157_163541010436616_1839552456_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference--the dominant ideas, wishes and emotions in our minds. We look inside first, decide the kind of world we want to see and then project that world outside, making it the truth as we see it. We make it true by our interpretations of what it is we are seeing. -A Course in Miracles

The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference

The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference--the dominant ideas, wishes and emotions in our minds. We look insid...

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As Bill Sees It-Selfish? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

<p> </p><blockquote>" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, 'A.A. is a selfish program.' The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits. "What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation--however we may define this--he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency. "If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first--a right and necessary kind of self-concern."</blockquote>

As Bill Sees It-Selfish? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

  " I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, 'A.A. is a selfish program.' The word 'selfish' ord...

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AA First and the “Selfish” Program « Don't Drink and Don't Die

<p> </p><blockquote>AA First and the “Selfish” Program I shudder, shudder, shudder when I hear someone say AA is a selfish program.  Back to the dictionary and the meaning of words. Selfish, the way it’s commonly used, means taking care of oneself only and without regard for others or to the detriment of others.  The word selfish is used many times in the Big Book to mean just that, and it is presented as a bad thing.  Not a good thing. It’s in As Bill Sees It and certainly elsewhere that Bill W said AA is a selfish program.  He said that it’s selfish in the same way that a person cannot enlighten someone else while the person himself is not enlightened.  You can’t make someone believe in something you don’t believe in (or rarely).  You can’t give away what you haven’t got. If an alcoholic is not sober, she is a danger and detriment to herself and everyone else.  This alcoholic must first set about achieving sobriety.  When a new person comes into the rooms and is told what a commitment AA needs to be in the beginning, sometimes the person protests.  People feel they cannot neglect or leave their children or parents or jobs or what have you in order to go to meetings or to rehab.  The point is, this person may actually lose all those things and much more if she doesn’t attain sobriety.  In that way, sobriety has to come first. Rarely, but unfortunately sometimes, I hear a newcomer say that his family or friends are actually against his attendance in AA.  There are lots of reasons for that.  The family or friends may not want to stop drinking, may  be dependent on that person and fear a change, or may have a bad opinion of AA.   In those cases, the newcomer has to defy the people who don’t want him in AA and attend, and hopefully most of them will come around to realize that is best. Usually, though, I hear the “selfish” program phrase thrown around when someone is considering giving less than is appropriate to some other area of life.  We are not encouraged to neglect our families, careers, or other responsibilities in order to devote time to AA or our other spiritual quests.  It is plainly written again and again that we are to rejoin society and serve and contribute, not crawl away into an AA insulated cave where we selfishly look after our own needs and fulfillment. It’s a pet peeve and a prejudice of mine that I see lots of “therapy” and pop psychology as being too introspective  and  selfish to do good for anyone besides the therapist or book author.  And I’m NOT commenting on all therapy and all books.  I know that people have real needs and realize real benefits every day.   Still, for many of us, I do believe that the AA program well worked gives us a good balance of introspection and encouragement to take care of our own – our own being this place and all the people here with us at this time.</blockquote>

AA First and the “Selfish” Program « Don't Drink and Don't Die

  AA First and the “Selfish” Program I shudder, shudder, shudder when I hear someone say AA is a selfish program.  Back to the dictionary an...

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A Selfish Program?

<p> </p><blockquote>"A Selfish Program?" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, "A.A. is a selfish program."  The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others.  Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.  What do these speakers mean?  Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have.  Without salvation-however we may define this-he will have little or nothing.  For us of A.A., there is even more urgency.  If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now.  We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol.  Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first-a right and necessary kind of self-concern.  From As Bill Sees It</blockquote>

A Selfish Program?

  "A Selfish Program?" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, "A.A. is a selfish program."  Th...

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Feel gratitude for everything.

<p> </p><blockquote>Feel gratitude for everything. When we see every situation as being perfect just the way it is, happiness grows and grows. -Daniel Levin</blockquote>

Feel gratitude for everything.

  Feel gratitude for everything. When we see every situation as being perfect just the way it is, happiness grows and grows. -Daniel Levin

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Your true self is perfect

<p> </p><blockquote>Your true self is perfect; it wants/needs nothing. Your ego is imperfect; it wants/needs everything. -Michael Jeffreys</blockquote>

Your true self is perfect

  Your true self is perfect; it wants/needs nothing. Your ego is imperfect; it wants/needs everything. -Michael Jeffreys

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The ego treats the present moment in 3 ways

<p> </p><blockquote>The ego treats the present moment in 3 ways: 1. As a means to an end. 2. As an obstacle. 3. As an enemy. –Eckhart Tolle</blockquote>

The ego treats the present moment in 3 ways

  The ego treats the present moment in 3 ways: 1. As a means to an end. 2. As an obstacle. 3. As an enemy. –Eckhart Tolle

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Your ego’s biggest trick

<p> </p><blockquote>Your ego’s biggest trick is getting you to spend your entire lifetime looking outside yourself for something you already are. -Michael Jeffreys</blockquote>

Your ego’s biggest trick

  Your ego’s biggest trick is getting you to spend your entire lifetime looking outside yourself for something you already are. -Michael Jef...

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To me, spirituality is about two things:

<p> </p><blockquote>The liberation of consciousness from all illusion, so that the true nature can shine and an embodiment in life that is an alternative to the patterns of manipulation and greed that dominate our current culture. –Christian Opitz</blockquote>

To me, spirituality is about two things:

  The liberation of consciousness from all illusion, so that the true nature can shine and an embodiment in life that is an alternative to t...

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the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.

<p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Whether you’re mid-bite, mid-sentence or perhaps mid-sleep, do you react to that ‘bing’ from your smartphone? Or, is it the flashing red light that gets you?</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">You’ve programmed your phone to alert you to messages, or has it programmed you to respond?</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">From the constant smartphone companion to the laptop replacing the lapdog, the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">The consumer research firm Intersperience surveyed more than 1,000 people in Britain and found quitting the Internet is as hard for some as quitting drinking or smoking.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Without the Internet, 40% said they felt lonely. Ironically, it’s fathomable that 40% of those living with Internet addicts probably feel lonely too.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Laurie Tamblyn, an addictions counsellor in special programs at Toronto’s Bellwood Health Services, says there are many types of Internet addiction, including gambling, gaming, pornography and social networking.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“We’re just beginning to treat this. It is a big problem and it is going to become bigger before people start recognizing that they need to do something about it,” Tamblyn says.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“Some of us believe there is a tsunami coming because we haven’t fully recognized the problem yet.”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Part of that problem is the generation gap. Children today are children of technology – dependent on the social web and its tools.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Addiction is a progressive illness that ends up in isolation, Tamblyn says, so Internet use can be a slippery slope, and can have devastating effects on relationships.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“The amount of time people spend lost in their behaviours is comparable to a drinker spending time at the bar instead of with his family or friends,” Tamblyn says.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“The addiction becomes the focus of the addict’s life. The focus is to interact with the addiction before anything else. If this doesn’t happen, it results in mood swings and irritability.”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Internet addiction can be difficult to diagnose, says Dr. Greg Dubord, who teaches in the psychiatry department at the University of Toronto.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“Drawing the line between normal Internet use and Internet addiction is often difficult, because no set criteria for diagnosing the disorder have been established by the American Psychiatric Association.”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">What is easy to recognize, however, is the impact of web overuse on our relationships.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Though social networking allows us to communicate with people all over the world, at times it seems to segregate us more than ever. Real-life interaction is often interrupted by bings and beeps. Thoughts become tweets and e-mails. Our fingers do the walking and the talking now.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">From neglecting friends and family members to creating severe relationship problems, the Internet and our attachment to it can consume our lives.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">One study documents 396 negative effects of the web on social involvement, including significant family problems, Dubord says.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“Reports have shown that excessive use of the Internet resulted in personal and family problems, with 53% of test-takers reporting severe relationship problems,” he says.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“Personal and family concerns extended to marriages, dating relationships, parent-child relationships, and close friendships.”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Dubord notes one case where a New York woman divorced her husband due to Internet overuse, and an extreme case involving a Korean couple so addicted to virtual games they let their three-month-old daughter starve to death.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">If you think you may have a problem, Tamblyn says the best thing to do is ask for help.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">“You can get an assessment at any treatment centre, or do it online and it’s anonymous. There are a lot of people struggling, and there’s a lot of help.”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">Too e-dependent? Greg Dubord points out some general warning signs:</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">1.</strong> Lose track of time online.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">2.</strong> Failed attempts at moderating Internet behaviour.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">3. </strong>Neglecting work, sleep, friends and/or family to spend time online.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">4. </strong>Turning to the Internet in times of stress or sadness to feel better.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">How to cut down, according to Laurie Tamblyn:</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">1.</strong> Give yourself short breaks throughout the day when you can’t check your messages. Try going for a walk without your smartphone.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">2. </strong>Put your iPad to bed. Set a bedtime for your Internet devices.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">3.</strong> Wi-Fi-free meals. Wash your hands of wireless devices before eating.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #aaaaaa; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; padding: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;"><strong style="outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px initial initial;">4.</strong> Put your computer in a high-traffic area to stay accountable to those around you.</p></p>

the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.

Whether you’re mid-bite, mid-sentence or perhaps mid-sleep, do you react to that ‘bing’ from your smartphone? Or, is it the flashing red lig...

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The Hoffman Process UK | About The Process

<p> </p><blockquote>The Hoffman Institute, founded over 40 years ago, continues to develop in collaboration with experts including health professionals, therapists, educational advisors, spiritual healers and others from the human potential movement. Based on a variety of established teachings - Psychodynamic, Transpersonal, Gestalt, Behavioral, and Cognitive - the combination of intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual work provides an all-round approach to resolving many of life’s problems. Led by a team of qualified Hoffman Teachers with a ratio of 1:8 students and held in secluded country house retreats, an individual’s confidentiality and safety is our priority.  There are many counselling workshops and types of therapy that exist to help people overcome stress and depression. The Hoffman Process works alongside these options providing an opportunity to do deep healing work in a residential environment. We believe that there is a ‘right time’ to do this course, whether as part of ongoing therapy or simply because you feel stuck in your life and are looking for change.</blockquote>

The Hoffman Process UK | About The Process

  The Hoffman Institute, founded over 40 years ago, continues to develop in collaboration with experts including health professionals, thera...

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Is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy really the answer to Britain's depression 'epidemic'?

<p> </p><p>So there are going to be even more CBT therapists - on top of the 10,000 we’ve already been promised, the Health Secretary has just announced plans to fast-track hundreds more. All these therapists are going to cost millions (around £250million). So what a waste it would be if the Government’s psychotherapy plans were founded on false evidence of what works. Throwing away taxpayers’ money wouldn’t be the worst of it. Think of the thousands of people suffering from anxiety and depression who would have their hopes raised then dashed. Luckily, despite what the doom-mongers are saying, that’s not what is about to happen. In fact, the Government’s plans are a once-in-a-lifetime chance to cure many of the one in six of us who suffers from these conditions. Sadly, such exciting possibilities are lost on some critics who rail against the type of therapy that will be offered - CBT. This treatment draws on the obvious truth that how we feel is inextricably linked to the way we think and behave. It isn’t remotely sinister and is rather simple - and it works. Many of my patients have been helped by CBT. Sally’s was a typical case. A 42-year-old mother of two, she had been depressed for a year. She tried to put a brave face on things, but knew it was affecting her kids, and that was breaking her heart. Looking at her thought patterns, it was clear that she believed she was a failure and couldn’t do anything right. This meant she had stopped trying to do new things and had become withdrawn. But when together we looked for evidence to support these negative thoughts, it wasn’t there. Despite thinking otherwise, Sally was a good mother and people liked being around her. But her depression had skewed her perception. We started to make a list and focused on these positives, and slowly Sally’s mood lifted. Eventually, she had the confidence to do voluntary work. This led to a further reappraisal of those negative thoughts and she began to see that she was far from a failure. That process, examining our thoughts, testing them against reality and finding a new, more realistic script lies at the heart of CBT. It is not about brainwashing people with positive thoughts; it is about replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Of course, it doesn’t work for everyone. Lord Layard, the economist who’s the inspiration for this expansion of NHS therapy, thinks it will help half of all those who are treated. Some people just don’t take to its approach and others have deeper problems. Cost is, of course, a factor. CBT is quicker as it usually involves 16 weeks therapy, whereas other therapies tend to be open-ended and are, therefore, more expensive. Maybe cost shouldn’t be a factor, but it always will be. What about those other therapies, I hear Oliver James and others ask? The truth is, there is more evidence for CBT’s efficacy, and in an age of evidence-based medicine those other therapies will always be on the back foot. In any event, of course, in the modern NHS patients are supposed to be offered a choice. Here, I do have some sympathy with the scheme's critics. I think other therapies should also be on offer, and I suspect, over time and given local realities they will be. But I won’t have people undermining the Government’s plans. I have seen CBT work. It was CBT therapy, in 1998, that first made me hopeful that my depression could be cured. Like many, I needed deeper therapy, too, but many others don’t want to dig deeper if they don’t have to. That is why CBT is a good first foundation for this new psychotherapy service. Therapists spend a lot of time trying to get patients to give up knee-jerk negativism and embrace the hope that things might turn out better than they expect. With all due respect, I would give the same advice to the critics of CBT.  * Derek Draper's book Life Support: A Survival Guide For The Modern Soul is published by Hay House on April 2 (£8.99). WHAT IS CBT?                                                                    CBT is a short-term psychological treatment based on the idea that negative thinking and behaviour can trigger problems such as depression or panic attacks. During treatment, the therapist helps you identify these negative thoughts - and encourages you to work out a way of looking at things more positively. CBT is used to help with a wide range of mental health and physical conditions, including phobias, anger, relationship problems, sleep problems and eating disorders. The process was developed by the American psychiatrist Aaron Beck in the Sixties. He believed that our emotions and moods were influenced by our patterns of thinking. But rather than focusing on past events in your life such as your childhood - as most of the older psychotherapies do - CBT focuses on the here and now. Sessions of CBT usually last around an hour - it’s common to have between six and 16 sessions during a course of treatment. If you feel CBT may be suitable for you, talk to your GP about a referral - it is available on the NHS, but there is usually a waiting list of several months. There are private CBT therapists, who charge around £50 to £100 a session. But first check that your therapist is registered with the British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP).</p>

Is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy really the answer to Britain's depression 'epidemic'?

  So there are going to be even more CBT therapists - on top of the 10,000 we’ve already been promised, the Health Secretary has just announ...

Read more »