On Pity and Compassion

On Pity and Compassion

 

Long ago the word pity and compassion had the same meaning,but today the meaning has changed.
Now while both words are related to having sympathy forothers, they now come from a completely different perspective. 

 
Starting with Pity:

When we pity somebody, we feel sorry for them, but we alsofeel glad not only that we don't have their problems, but that we are not likethem.

Having pity for somebody creates a separation, a feeling of'otherness'.

 

We try to convince ourselves that we could never be likethem, that we could never have their problems, and that all their problemsarise because of the person they are.

 

Having pity for somebody also implies a sense that they areless than us, and thus by implication, we are more than them.

Maybe we look at some people and envy them for what theyhave, thinking that we could never have what they do, and secretly hoping that they lose it all and are brought down  to our level.

 

However, we tell ourselves, there are those who are below usin the pecking order, and we establish a base line and try to convinceourselves that we cannot pass below it. And in order to justify our position,we tell ourselves that those below us, who have less than us, must haveinherent defects that we do not have ourselves, and therefore that we couldnever be like them.

 

The truth however is that we know in our hearts that wecould end up with exactly the same problems as those less fortunate than ourselves,but our fear of loss is so great that it often seems impossible to give up thedelusion that these people are different than us.

 

 

Now let’s look at Compassion:

 

When we have compassion for somebody, we come from aposition of empathy and understanding, and want to truly identify with them.

Having compassion for somebody creates unity, a feeling of ‘connectedness’.

 

We know in our hearts that we share many things, and thatthe same problems that befall them could befall us, and we are glad that we canoffer people help and support, and hope that others will be there for us when wehave problems as we know we will.

 

Having compassion implies that we know that we are all in the same boat and that no person is any more or any less than anybody else, we all have something to offer.

 

Looking at others in a compassionate way we understand thatwe all have our own problems whatever external appearances might indicate, and we know that each person is on their own path, and wish them well.

 

We know in our hearts that we could end up with exactly thesame problems as those less fortunate than ourselves and we admit that we arepowerless over people places and things. We understand that but for the graceof God, we could be in the same place as they.

 

 

When I Pity myself:

 

I feel sorry for myself, and that I am a pitiful creature whois, defective, broken and beyond redemption, I feel that others should see that I can’t help being such a pitiful creature and take solace in the fact that it is not my fault because I was born to fail.

 

Having pity for myself creates a separation from myself and the universe and I despise myself.

 

I try to convince the world and myself that I am not who Iam, that I don’t have the problems that I do, and that only other people could suffer from these problems.

 

Having pity for myself makes me feel less than others, and I try to convince myself that I am better than some.

 

In desperation, I tell myself, that there are those who are below me in the pecking order, and I establish a base line and try to convince myself that I cannot pass below it. And in order to justify my position, I tell myself that those below me, who have less than me, must have inherent defects that I do not have myself, and therefore that I could never be like them.

 

The truth however is that I know in my heart that I couldend up with exactly the same problems as those less fortunate than myself, but my fear of loss is so great that it often seems impossible to give up the delusion that these people are different than me.

 

 

When I have Compassion for myself:

 

I feel good about myself, and that I am a precious creation whois exactly the way I should be, I want others to see my inner light, that I can take responsibility for my life and revel in the fact that I am free to create my own destiny, that I was born to succeed.

 

Having compassion for myself creates a connectedness with myself and the universe and I love myself.

 

I want to show myself and the world who I am, and share myself with others.

 

Having compassion for myself lets me know that I am equal too thers, no more and no less.

 

I know in my heart that I could end up with exactly the same problems as those less fortunate than me and I admit that I am powerless over people places and things. I understand that but for the grace of God, I could be in the same place as they.

 

When I pity myself, I pity others,

and when I pity others, I pity myself.

 

When I have compassion for myself, I have compassion for others,

and when I have compassion for others, I have compassion for myself.

 

Pity = Despite

Compassion = Love

 

For many years I cursed life and my higher power for all I had to go through, but now very slowly I am learning that all my hardships were blessings.

 

Being pitying or compassionate is a choice which has the power to completely change the way I see myself and my life, for good or ill.

 

When I choose to be compassionate, I see that my hardships only serve to increase the depth of my compassion, and hence my capacity to be loving, and for that I am grateful.